Agony

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

In accordance with my New Testament reading plan, I just finished reading 2 Peter. There were several verses in chapters 2 & 3 that struck a very profound note with me.

Lately I have felt a heavy weight on my soul; I know that it is for all the loved ones in my life who are running from the Lord. Chapter 2 of 2 Peter warns against the teachings of false teachers, and false teachers are running rampant in our society today. It's nearly impossible to avoid their influence. From politicians, to talk show hosts, to televangelists, to people we know personally, there is always someone whispering in our ears. Of course, the most common false doctrines are exactly what Peter warns of in verses 18-19:

For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage.

The human mind is weak, and false teachers constantly prey on that weakness. They are quick to make everyone feel good; they tell everyone that they are "entitled," they make the human being #1. And let's face it, everyone wants to be #1. It's an easy sell: "You're okay; everything's okay; you won't be challenged or convicted if you follow me." So even people who have heard the truth are sucked back in, ignoring the Good News of freedom and engaging in the bondage of carnal lusts.

But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: "A dog returns to his own vomit"..."
2 Peter 2:22

Please do not misread this post. I am not judging or condemning anyone; my heart just aches for the wandering souls in my life. It positively aches. But praise God for this:

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

He waited for me for many difficult years, and I pray He will wait for all my loved ones too.

I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













Incomprehensible.
In my humanness, in my selfishness, in my evilness, how can I comprehend a love so complete that "neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate [me]from [it]"--not even my own evil heart (Romans 8:38-39)?

Within a heart like mine, which has learned to fear rejection above all, a love such as this is nearly impossible to fathom. Could there possibly be Someone who can "see the depths of my heart and love me the same"?
Shame haunts me. How could anyone forgive my past and present--no, continuous--misdeeds? How could anyone forgive my impure ways, my impure heart?

How could anyone forgive me? And God? God, the One on whom I turned my back so completely that at one point, not so very long ago, I proudly called myself "agnostic"?

God, the Holy Creator of the universe?

God, whose perfection and goodness are beyond all human comprehension?

God, who sees all of my rottenness, even that which has not been exposed to human eyes?

How could God ever forgive me?




But He waits. His patience is everlasting, and He waits for me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.













I'm so unworthy,
but still You love me.










But still You love me.