I am NOT ready.

I just realized that when we get back from the beach next Saturday, I will have only 4 days left with Jack before he starts preschool.

This may not seem like that big a deal, and up until this point I had convinced myself of that as well--but the fact is that this is the last week and a half I will ever have with him before he starts school.

After preschool is kindergarten. Then the rest of elementary school. Then middle school. Then high school. Etc.

I can't bear it. My little guy is growing up so fast it makes my heart hurt.

27.

My birthday is in 5 days. I will be 27.

26 was a rough year. I won't say "bad," because we did get our sweet little Lilybug out of it, but for some reason God allowed a lot of pain in my life at 26.

The Cobbs have been to hell and back in the last year. And I can say with confidence that we are "back" indeed! We have been on our knees in proverbial sackcloth and ashes for a good 11 months, and you know what? There's nowhere I would rather be.

God is more real to me now than He has ever been. I truly believe and feel with all my heart that He is is ALL I NEED. HE IS ALL THAT MATTERS. He's it. Period.

There have been times over the last year when He literally has been all I could count on, and you know what? If you're going to count on someone, He's the one--even through the darkest of times, He has never left my side.

As 27 approaches and a new year is on the horizon, things are looking up for the Cobbs. I am so beyond grateful for that; when I think about it I literally weep. Not just a few tears, but actual weeping. But I am also cautiously optimistic.

I don't want to lose the utter dependence I have come to. I don't want to stop talking to God, praying continually, trusting Him fully. It is so, SO easy to slip back into the wrong mindset. I already find myself doing it--thinking of the things we were be able to do and buy in the next year. So my prayer is this:

"Lord, you have led me through some insanely difficult times this year. You have led me to complete dependence on You, and You have been so faithful to me. Not only have you been faithfully encouraging, you have also provided for every material need, AND given us a daughter. My love for You has grown so much and my understanding of Your perfect love and perfect plan is expanding (although Your wisdom is infinite and I am only human!). As we see the "light at the end of the tunnel," so to speak, my fervent prayer is that I would not slip back into my old ways. That I would trust ONLY IN YOU. Whatever that means--even if it means we will have to give everything up--please help me to keep my focus in the right place: on Your glorious face. Thank you for your faithfulness, God. You blow my mind. Amen."

Oh, and one more thing. God has really reached out to me through song this year. One song He has carefully placed in my life at all the right times is "How He Loves." Check it out; it is worth your time. Either version (John Mark McMillan or David Crowder Band).

The other is "Saviour King," specifically this lyric:

"Let the poor stand and confess

That my portion is Him

and I'm more than blessed."

It's true.

Family Photos!

Enjoy it while you can...

Rumor has it that there is a decent chance our beaches will soon be oil slicks. So this weekend, we enjoyed Virginia Beach while it was still beautiful!

Jack had so much fun, he is convinced we are going back today....poor kid is in for some disappointment.... ;-)

Merely 10 of the Many Reasons my Mom is a SuperMom!

Please vote for my mom, Carrie DeLille, as Richmondmom.com's SuperMom! She is so deserving!

10. She has listened to God's call for her life: adoption. 7 (8 if you count Isaac, who is not home yet) of my siblings are adopted. My mom never thought she would have more than 3 children, but God wanted her to be an instrumental part of His plan for taking care of the widows and orphans of the world. When God called her name, she said "Here I am."

9. She shows me how to be a good wife to my husband. She has shown me what it means when 2 become one flesh, and what it means for a wife to be submissive to her husband while still being equal as a human being.

8. She is an awesome grandma! Every week, Jack spends a night at her house, and he LOVES it. He loves his "gwamma."

7. She let us live at their house for 10 months, rent-free, so that we could get on our feet financially.

6. When I was on bed rest with Lily, she helped me in some way every single day (for 4 weeks!). She brought over food, took Jack out for fun outings, brought my brothers and sisters over to play with Jack, and cleaned my house. I don't know what I would have done without her.

5. She is so encouraging. She periodically will tell me verbally or send me a note saying that I am a good mother and that she is proud of me. Her encouragement always comes at just the right times.

4. When I found out less than 24 hours in advance that I would be induced to deliver Jackson, she was on a plane from Virginia early the next morning and arrived in Austin before his birth. She stayed with me and helped me figure out the newborn thing as a first-time mommy with a preemie.

3. When Lily was first born, she spend a week at my house helping with Jack and taking some of the middle of the night feedings so that I could get some rest. She made sure I was able to take some down-time, even when I thought I was okay, so that I could let my body heal.

2. When I got the stomach flu a couple of months ago, she brought me popsicles and took care of Jack.

1. My teen years. 'Nuff said.